Thursday, 4 October 2018

Dawn of Second Year

Dearest children,

Second year blooms in front of me like a carrion flower: a beautiful, red blossom that opens to behold the smell of rotting corpse.

Dampen your enthusiasm, Samantha, I hear you squeal!

I jest.

It has been a long, hot summer (thanks, caroline.) filled with placement which I am SO SORRY I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU ABOUT but was definitely a very mixed bag, meeting M's parents which was so so exciting and so so nerve wracking, seeing my momma and my sisters and chilling out on the beach, obsessing over eating too much ice cream and grabbing my stomach surreptitiously, and eating more ice cream. how was your guys's summer? <3



But now, second year is starting, my babies, and the truth is slugging me on the face and leaving low-fat margarine tears to drip down my skin: this year counts. I can no longer while away endless wednesday evenings drinking straight vodka to minimise my sugar intake before Citrus; early thursday mornings eating piles of toast and drunkenly swearing I'll make it to my lecture; and late thursday mornings swearing that it's okay, I'll make it next time. Less Fridays of shamedly limping back to Manor Park from M's in my favourite (and only) pair of heels and buying orange juice from tesco on the way back. I have to actually knuckle down, which sucks a bit.

I've put on a little holiday weight, as Ross would say, and when i poke my stomach she bubbles in a way she never has before. my favourite banana dress did not zip up yesterday. and that is okay. I will get back to my normal weight as my routine fluctuates back to normal. I really have been eating whatever i wanted recently, and i want to tell you guys too: it is okay to gain weight. weight fluctuates with our lives. whenever i see the lovely girls from my course again i keep thinking, ugh, they must be thinking how fat i've gotten. and it makes me so bitter, wrapping it all inside myself and then eating 10,000 raw vegan snickers bars when i get home and sniggering "it doesn't matter anyway."

here are some yummy things i have been eating recently and i want to publish recipes for ALL OF THEM:


1. shredded beetroot, greek yoghurt, savoury seasoning. a persian specialty from my housemate. x



2. no-knead peasant bread. a crispy, buttery crust and the most beautiful soft innards that taste amazing dunked in mushroom or tomato soup.


3. greek yoghurt with fruit and M's mum's jam. she is so lovely and takes care of me v cutely. when my hair was dry, she rubbed oil into my hair!!! what an angel. I love going to visit A LOT.

will do an update into uni food and uni life in a bit darlings. things with M going excellently despite him being an oblivious little pumpkin. i try not to mother him but its so hard, he's such a sweet, clueless bunny.

have a lovely weekend my darlings. peace out.

xo sam

Monday, 26 March 2018

Best banana-maple-peanut butter soft cookies {vegan, gf}


My friends, I will be brief on this fine day. I have honed you this highly delicious recipe and I hope dearly that you will love me forever for making the rest of your life - previously a dark, banana cookie-less, dry landscape - so deliciously moist, nutty, and chocolaty. Yes. I am going to give you this recipe and then go and attempt to do my haematology lab. I am, for a short time, solo in my accommodation as everyone has gone home and my flight leaves later this week. I am reallyyy loving it BUT  I found yesterday I was really just eating all day and that's BAD. I finished a tub of halotop mint chip (I LOVE MINT CHIP, IT IS MY FAVOURITE FLAVOUR EVERRR), half a batch of these cookies... oh well. I did enjoy them. :) Today, at least, I did some LOVELY power yoga, a bums & tums class, and made a bowl of many delicious green things which I will post in a What-I-eat-in-a-day ASAP as it included something v greek and v delicious. Also rolled around in grassy bit near house and got a wet bum. x Enjoy your days, sweethearts! Its a gorgeous one :) 








Best Banana-Maple-Peanut Butter Soft Cookies
Ingredients:
1/2 cup maple syrup (you can reduce this. I didn't really want to lol as I felt like v sweet ones :)
1/2 cup nut butter
A generous splash (up to 3 tablespoons) olive oil {add more if you desire an even softer cookie}
1 banana
1 & 1/2 cups oats
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
2 phat dark squares of choc, chopped up small (chunks or bunks, boyz. Its your choice)

Method:
1. Mash that banana, baby. In the same bowl, mix in the maple, nut butter, and olive oil until a smooth mixture is formed.
2. Dump in the dry ingredients, and mix away until everything is assimilated.
3. Mix in dem choc chips. Mmm.
4. Sample batter surreptitiously, then remember no one is there to tell you off and eat a big spoon of it.
5. Spoon into about 7 or 8 big cookie blobs, and pop in the 180 C oven for about 10-12 minutes, or until golden. YUM.
{taste significantly better when cooled. I'm sorry. yet synonymously, i am not suggesting they taste anything other than fantastic when they are so hot they burn ur tongue.)

Enjoy! xox



Sunday, 25 March 2018

Uni: What I eat + do in a day

Hey babies!

How are you all? I am promising myself that I will try and be more regular on here because I love writing bloggies so much. Maybe it will tether me to some semblance of regularity and routine in this crazy life, where I feel as if I am doing so much, and yet doing so little (i.e sitting in front of netflix drinking almond milk and maple syrup while scrolling through asos).

Ever since I've come back from Christmas break at home, I have done some morally questionable things, my babies. Remember how I mentioned tesco boy? Well, everything was going swell - he was being cute and he came to my gospel choir concert, he got me a christmassy little elf hat, he bought me nutella hot chocolate and he WANTS TO JOIN THE RAF (Ik guys. Possibly, completely shallow but this pleased me endlessly due to my mental associations with tres mignon, sefless military boys and the opening scene to Peter Pan). And trust me, I was pursuing him. But there was this niggling little thought in the back of my mind, every time I was with him - he'd say things I thought were really off, which I would then push to the back of my mind, and our conversations would get lukewarm really quickly, with me having to feign interest in things he brought up. The more I got to know this boy, the less I actually liked him.

But, babies - I am a girl to whom the shocking adrenaline of being liked BACK in the same space-time continuum is darkly rare thus far in my life {I know. Don't ask me how.}. And so I persisted with this short burst of romance because I think in many ways, I am in love with the idea of being in love.

Until we kissed.

IT WAS AWFUL. It was slobbery and he kept his mouth open the ENTIRE TIME and the whole time tesco boy was enjoying the suctioning process of his lips to mine, I was thinking: Am I lesbian? Is kissing actually supposed to be this awful? Does everyone PRETEND TO LIKE IT???

Then he broke away and said he needed to pee, after taking a quick selfie with me in which I uncomfortably grimaced and tried to display some variant of happiness. I was actually feeling really confused and clear at the same time: at that moment, I really realised I didn't like tesco boy. But that kind of thing doesn't happen in a moment - which also made me realise that maybe I hadn't truly liked him all along. I self-consciously wiped my chin as it was covered in his saliva. yum. He then walked me home and asked to stay at mine, to which I snorted "lol nope." I then went upstairs and ate the remains of the salmon en croute we'd made for our flat christmas dinner and pondered the crushing of my crush. Also got angry at self for eating so much salmon en croute and went to bed with a slight belly ache.

The plot thickens, children - I am now with one of his friends! The rest of THAT story comes soon, nugget babies. For now: food.

March 24th, 2017



10:00 am: Woke up v late after Rubix last night. Missed my 9 am, whoopsie.

10:01 am: Ponder what food I can ingest to make my sleepy body feel better. Know in soul that am not really that hungry AND exercise would be far better for me at this point, but convince self that bread will be an excellent option and nurse me back to health. Also, M made me this rye bread and it tastes amazing. FIRST TIME BOY HAS MADE ME BREAD.

10:30 am: Finished with breakfast. much delicious - creamy scrambled eggs with a little pat of butter, mushrooms and spinach wilted in water, and 2 slices of bomb-ass bread, using flatmate S's lurpak. i steal it on a regular basis and love her v much.

11:00 am: Crawl onto bike to go to lecture. Forget key in room; run back up to get it. What a hassle. realise have left tail lights on on bike all night long and try not to think about my overt lack of eco-friendliness.

11:10 am: As per usual, am completely late for lecture. Walk in full of shame with head down and as quietly as possible. This happens every day, yet my burning guilt at each occurrence seems not enough to change my habits. One lives in hope.

11:15 am: It is molecular biology. Shoot me pls. (Even though I hate utilising terms such as shoot and kill in jest. I am a product of my society.) I drop off periodically; embarrassed by gross shiver I always do just before falling asleep. Yes, I make sounds. And as a direct consequence, yes, it is obvious I am falling asleep.

11:59 am: Thank god, lecture is over. Hotfoot it out of lecture hall and practically sprint to yoga.

12:30 am: Fart during cat cow. mortally embarrassed.

1:00 pm: Feel so much better. Yoga always clears my mind, even if its the really gentle, soft yoga that I did today. I love it. Time to go homeeee via the seemingly endless schlep to Manor Park and have lunch (the real reason you're here). xoxox

1:30 pm: Arrive back at home. C, other fab roommate, throws death glares at me for preparing broccoli in his presence. I have a can of sardines in brine, broccoli, oven-roasted kale, a few olives my mum sent me from home, a bit of my honey mustard dressing (ok, a lot), a fried egg, and a pretty pat of minty rice that my egyptian babe A has made for me. She makes large amounts of carbohydrates and hates leftovers, and thus feeds them to me forcefully in the full knowledge that my ass does not require more foods. I eat them joyfully regardless.



2:40 pm: Decide to shun uni work and make a gloriously moist, date-sweetened banana bread. Recipe coming: its amazing. I ate approximately 3 slices and then saved the rest 4 flat babies, my bestie, and boy who I rlly like but idk if he is my boyfriend (yes, still M).

3:01 pm: Reconsider cake. Is it too weird to bring him some? Is it past that no-man's land? Will he think it is dowry?!?!

3:02 pm: It's just cake, Sam. JUST CAKE. I promise and swear and I will even give it to him in an ugly tupperware, like I don't think I'll even see him again, so he doesn't think I'm being presumptuous and that we are on washing-tuppers-to-give-back-and-second-dates kinda land.

3:04 pm: But its so ugly and unaesthetic. I'm switching tuppers.



3:50 pm: Cycle into uni again for the last lecture of today (you'll notice it was a very light day - only 2 lectures! Usually I have wayyyy more).

4:00 pm: As I sit in lecture, remember that TODAY IS A THURSDAY AND THE BROWNIE STAND IS HERE AGHHHH!!! Also fruits but I have lots of those already and... brownies.

4:07 pm: Love physiology, but cannae believe that only 7 minutes have gone past. I want my brownie and I want it now.

5:02 pm: After chats with friends have sprinted to brownie stand. THIS ONE IS COOKIE DOUGH. Please look at it. I personally looked at it, and then had the privilege to eat it. Oh, it was so delicious. Check out those layers, people. I ain't seen nothin' more delicious EVER.




6:00 pm: After a little work in the library, I decide to go home and basically spend the rest of the evening chilling out with the flatties. I don't eat dinner because I'm full of sugar. Mmm. I was proud of self restraint because usually, even if NOT hungry, I will make toast and slather in butter. Goodnight now, babies. See you soon. xoxox