Hello, my lovelies. Long time no see - but I have finished my exams (!), done well (!!), and I am heading to my dream uni this September to study nutrition and dietetics!! So this summer, I am chilling out (read: being completely and utterly lazy) and I write this as I sit at my great-aunt's house after a day of baking! As I stuffed my face with completely non-healthy yummy things and simultaneously felt guilty and laughed and made gifs with my cousins, I realized: while I truly love eating healthy most of the time, its okay to sometimes just go with the flow, and if you are faced with sweet, sugary things one day (or in may case, quite a few days this summer) you can eat them. And its okay if you eat too many some days, or feel crazy full, or feel angry at yourself for eating too much. You'll find balance, but it takes a long time. I'll be honest - I find it really hard to find balance and sometimes I eat way too much! I'm working on that, and I'm also working on trying not to make so many of my emotions hinge on the food I've ate that day. When I splurge like this, I often feel ashamed of what I ate, just like many girls, and I think that needs to stop for all of us. Anyway, in honour of that, I am going to start writing a completely honest weekly food diary. Here goes, my lovelies.
August 2nd, 2017
7 am: Wake up! Today I had to wake up at an ungodly hour because baking had to begin early. I promptly fell back asleep.
7:10 am: Mother came in and found me comatose. Forced to wake me (her 18 year old, her legal adult. Hah!) up again in a gentle fury.
7:12 am: Ashamed to say I fell back asleep. As previously discussed: exams have sapped my self discipline.
7:20 am: Woke up by myself in a gasping shock when I dreamed of a cockroach crawling over my body. Dragged body out of bed. Beautiful and sunny outside and can hear ocean; this never gets old.
7:21 am: Drank a big glass of freezing cold water and rubbed my eyes. How the f*** did I wake up for school earlier than this?
7:22 am: Realize will likely be ingesting large amounts of sugary goodness today. Figure might as well try and do some kind of workout before we have to leave at 8, though I keep trying to convince myself that I don't have enough time.
7:30 am: Cheekily sidestep a 15 minute HIIT and settle on a 8-minute "ab blaster." Anything helps amirite?
7:38 am: Finish workout. Realize could have done more but honestly cannot give a flying fig.
7:45 am: Done with shower; feelin' fresh. Wolf down 2 pieces of watermelon and a fig!
8:30 am: Am at my great aunt's house. Am fed like a queen:
- 2 pieces of ftira (a flat, maltese seeded bread like a big, airy bagel) with kunserva + bigilla + olive oil
- 1 small baby sweet ftira with margarine; tasted like FLUFFY HEAVEN
- 1 raisin shortbread cookie
- 2 rich tea biscuits
9:15 am: Ready to BEGIN BAKING! We are making: coconut meringue slices and pasta frolla, Maltese almond slices, for our family Gozo trip next week. They are delicious and will be made in high volumes.
9:20 am: Have already sampled a glace cherry and a bit of raw pastry (!!!). Am unsure as to what is wrong with me; my sweet tooth is more like a sweet monster living inside my body.
11:30 am: Baking is OVER! Have ingested catastrophic amounts of sugar! Enjoyed thoroughly! Bonded with my great aunt and sister farted while rolling pastry.
Have surreptitiously fuelled self with:
- Bits of raw pastry
- Balls of almond filling
- 1 raw pasta frolla (!!!!)
12:00 am: Continue baking the goods, as our old oven can only take one tray :'(
2:00 pm: Lunchtime! Have told self that will not eat, as I am truly not hungry.
2:02 pm: Have caved. Am now eating:
- Pasta integrale (gotta get that fibre in amirite?) with gbejna (maltese cheese) and tomato sauce. So good!
- Half a piece of bread (I am a carbohydrate monster)
2:30 pm: Sweep the floor.
3:00 pm: Taste the baked beauties for quality control.
- Two pasta frolla
- 1 coconut slice
- 1 piece jam tart
Quality is unassured as pasta frolla is quite hot still. Assume two minutes is satisfactory cool down time.
- Third pasta frolla is purloined and snaffled.
3:30 pm: Lie on soft sofa in concussed, pregananant state.
4:30 pm: Food baby begins to subside. Swear will not eat dinner; how could I possibly?
9:30 pm: Goaded into eating dinner.
- 2 slices of pizza with a hardboiled egg sliced on top
- Tomato salad with balsamic
- 1 choc stick filled with ice cream
- Slices of watermelon
10:30 pm: Dance party! Dance like a wild woman with my sisters to smash hits such as "Attention" by Charlie Puth. Find shaved eyebrow alluring.
11:00 pm: Horrifyingly, find dance party has alighted an appetite in me. Squash it down and fall asleep.
12:00 pm: Wake up to my cousin writing "Legal adult" on my forehead and scribbling a unibrow between my eyebrows.
12:01 pm: Am too tired. Fall asleep again.